I have often heard the phrase, 'too much of a good thing can be bad,' and like most of these pearls of wisdoms, it holds true in most circumstances. So, is it true of comfort? Can too much comfort be a bad thing?
Sitting on the couch cross legged, staring at my dog curled up, comfortably, I struggle with this question.
I am almost 27. It doesn't seem that old, but in my self-professed old age, I am beginning to re-evaluate my path in life. The first thing that came to my me, when I began this quest of self discovery, was, why even do it in the first place? I am comfortable. I went to school, got myself a good job, I have a roof over my head, a small dog to keep me company (among other critters) and for all-intensive purposes of this argument, I am pretty healthy. So, why change? What is so bad about comfort?
All through my early twenties, I hungered for this comfort, for stability, and a schedule, to know where my life was heading. Now that I am here, I am less than enthralled.
Part of me feels guilty even writing that. But the fact remains, despite the over abundance of comfort in my life, the security and safety, I still want more.
Comfort in my humble opinion is like a sweet drug that lulls us into complacency. We trade one dream or another for the warm and fuzzy embrace of our old friend comfort. All the while, we tell ourselves that it is for the best, because this was our ultimate goal wasn't it? Comfort?
Under closer observation, comfort doesn't seem like such a wonderful thing. It starts to look like a habit, and addiction even a disease or perhaps to be less harsh, a mild infection.
I am suffering from a serious case of comfort.
Case in point...exhibit A
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| Liz - Early 20s |
Exhibit B
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| Liz - Late-ish 20s |
Recently, I made a list. Tapping into my inner child, I wrote down every last thing I want or have ever wanted to do in my life, no matter how crazy, in fact, the crazier the better. After compiling said list, which included, among the mentionable items:
a - sing your heart out, in public, shamelessly (preferably on a weekly basis)
b - release a captive animal into the wild (by legal or non-legal measures...)
c - dip my toes into the oceans on either side of my beautiful country..
and so on... you can go on to imagine how many other ridiculous items appeared on my list.
Nevertheless, I examined each item as though it was my next major life decision. In the process, I wrote down every reason, I thought I couldn't achieve the goal in question, and I wrote that down too.
No more than 15 items into my list I began to see a pattern. One which eventually led me to begin this blog.
The number one reason (other than OK, I am not richie richie pants) why I felt I wouldn't succeed at most of these things was....fear of discomfort. I didn't want to give up what I had at the fear that I may not be able to get it back.
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that all creature comforts are evil distractions waiting to pull you away from your true path in life, but after taking stock of mine, I came to the conclusion that I could stand to sacrifice a few in hopes of some adventure or some excitement, or some..what do they call it? Life!
As a result of all this taking stock, I have resolved to do something that part of me thinks is completely insane (and uncomfortable) and another part of me thinks is more exciting than anything I have ever done.
My home is a quaint cottage which has been in my family for 20+ years. I love my home, its familiarity, its smells and creaks and groans. Its comfort.
I call Ontario my home province. I always have. Ontario has never let me down and I love it too. Its comfortable (well, in the summer, spring and fall at least).
At work, my job title is mainframe systems support analyst. I love the way it sounds. I love my job. The amount of time and effort I expended to secure my position in this career could not be captured in 1000 blogs. My career is reliable, my company is secure. I have even heard the words, "I could work here for the rest of my life," come from my very own lips. My career is comfortable.
LIST OF THINGS I WANT TO DO:
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13. Live close enough to the Rocky Mountains, that, should I want to climb them, I could.
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REASONS WHY I CAN'T
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13.
- I like my home. It is comfy and familiar. What if I don't like my new home?
- I like Deanlea. What if the cottage is gone if I come back and I will never be able to return here again? Deanlea is home to me, I can walk the dirt roads with my eyes closed. I don't need a flashlight in the pitch black to find my way. The beach is close enough to hear the water on a windy day. My neighbours have known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper and I would miss them. Deanlea is familiar, safe, and comfortable.
- My job! What if I can't find another job? What if I don't like the new job that I do find? What if I never find I job and I end up poor and homeless and poor and uncomfortable, and POOR!
- Uh reality, Liz. You can't climb a mountain.
An open letter...
Right now, comfort, you just aren't doing it for me. I'm sorry, but I think I am going to have to end this relationship. To be honest, I have met someone else. His name is adventure, and he is just so much more exhilarating than you. It sounds terrible, I know. You have been there for me through thick and thin, comfort. It will be hard to let you go, but I think it's best for the both of us. Please don't have hard feelings, I am sure we will meet again someday.
I am proud, and terrified to share that I have placed a deposit on a condo in British Columbia that I have only seen a few grainy photos of. Over the past week, I have furiously applied for as many technology jobs in the Vancouver area that I am qualified for. Much to my pleasure and surprise, the job hunt has not been fruitless, and I will not be homeless and poor when I arrive (as of yet!).
On April 22nd, I will pack up what meagre belongings I have left (after selling most of them for funds), into my little car. My dog, Te Amo and I are driving cross country together. Destination - Port Moody, BC and #13 on my life's list. On May 1st, 2011 I will arrive and begin a new leg on my journey through life.
Comfort, you have been conquered!
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