Today is a New Day

Today is a New Day

It’s been so long since I've updated this blog that I had forgotten it even existed. At my outset, I had been eager to keep a running journal of my thoughts and my life via this page. However, I’m afraid that my desire to compose essays rather than genuine ‘journal’ pieces has kept me from setting aside the time to produce something acceptable for consumption.

Today that all changes. It’s my intention to regularly contribute my thoughts and ideas whether they be grammatically sound and edited six times or not. As my initial goal was to treat this as a cathartic outlet, I feel it is only fair I give it one more shot.

So where to begin?

The day that I composed my first post I was nervous, excited and unsure of my future. Today, I am the same. It’s funny how we believe that certain events in our lives will somehow give us more clarity on who we are and what we want. At times this holds true, but most times these events just bring us more questions and desires and goals to be answered and fulfilled.

More than two years ago, after starting this blog, I packed everything in my life that I could fit into a van and I drove away from what was familiar to me. Leaving my family and friends and the comforts of my little cottage was one of the most difficult and simultaneously exhilarating experiences of my life.

To try and detail my life abroad for the past two years in one post would be a fruitless undertaking. I thought perhaps, instead I would share some things I have learned along the way in both my lifetime and my travels.

Loneliness is what you make of it. Commonly perceived as a negative emotion – and at times truly is – loneliness is something that you quickly learn to appreciate for a variety of different reasons.

Particularly because there is a variety of different forms of loneliness to be felt.

I suppose the most obvious place to start is human contact, or simply socializing in general. I happened to be lucky enough to have my dog with me. For a very long time it was just her and I. Transitioning from a hyper social to a completely solitary life can be a tremendously difficult experience emotionally and having my dog to talk to and be somewhat ‘social’ with made an incredible amount of difference.

Nothing can replace the familiarity of your closest friends. I am an outgoing individual and I’m lucky enough to meet new people daily in my everyday life. However, it took returning home and walking into my best friend’s house to fully grasp how it feels to truly be surrounded by home.

You see, loneliness can be geographically based as well. Spending endless amounts of time in strange and new locations can be the loneliest feeling of all. Getting lost, truly and utterly lost, is one of the most humbling experiences of my life. The fear and desperation and despair that you feel at your complete inability to help yourself is indescribable.

This leads to another form of loneliness – support. Traditionally I am a relatively self sufficient person. I was raised to be responsible for myself and I rarely rely on anyone for anything based on the sheer discomfort it causes me to do so. However, the few times I have truly needed someone in my life, I’ve always been able to call my father or Travis. When you’re 5000km away from these people, you have a jarring realizing that you are truly alone.

All of these examples I have provided sound negative, I’ll admit. But if you simply look at them in a different light you can see why I began this topic with a positive tone.

Despite popular belief, you do not become bat-shit crazy after spending hours and hours and days and days alone. In fact I’d be inclined to argue the opposite. Solitude gives you the opportunity to actually stop and listen to what’s going on in your head and your heart . Once you can appreciate how much is going on in there that you distort and drown out with television, social media and other forms of crap, you learn to truly appreciate solitude.

Being new places is exciting. It also allows you to never really be mad about traffic because you have no idea how long it should take to normally get there. I will admit that sometimes it is just nice to know where you’re going and the fastest route to take. Eventually you come to terms with your geographic failings and you just accept that until you’re willing to call somewhere home, you are always going to feel a little bit lost.

Being lost and alone or having your vehicle broken into, or simply sleeping alone in a tent in an unfamiliar wilderness are all incredibly lonely experiences the first time around. Conversely, finding your way home, and waking up the next morning un-mauled by bears are some of the greatest moments that life has to offer - true independence and validation that you can do it alone. You can survive and indeed you can have a little fun doing it.

In the years since I left my home, and started this blog, I have grown and changed as a human being. I am more self aware, I can say no when I truly mean it, and I do what makes me happy, not what I feel will make others approve of me.

Moving away has brought me freedom from the pain in my past that I thought I could never escape. The distance from the places and people that made all those memories in my life so prevalent has allowed me to distance my heart from them, make sense of things that didn't make sense back home and to let go of the things that I can’t change or understand.

Albeit I am also missing out on the great things at home, my family, my friends and my past life. I feel as though when I am here, every day is a new day filled with possibility for me. I am not held back by my past life experiences, instead I am set free by the possibilities of my future.

Am I happier since I left home and started a new life? I guess it depends on what day you ask me. Overall, my life has changed for the positive. I still don’t know who I am, or where I am going in this world, but I feel like I am starting to learn finally. Being true to myself and staying strong against whatever obstacles I encounter has been my goal since leaving. I feel like I’ve stayed true to that. Would I like things to start getting easier? Sure. Am I ready to start sharing my life with people again? I think so.

Today  is a new day and I welcome it with open arms. 

I Am a Bird

When a small and helpless gosling struggles its way into this world, and takes its first breaths of air, does it arrive with a sense of knowing that it will someday embark on a great and perilous journey across thousands of miles and vast expanses of terrain? My best judgment tells me this isn’t so.

At what point in life then, does this little being become conscious of this greater purpose? An internal clock, ticking away, counting down the hours, minutes, and seconds until departure, is what I like to imagine. 

Perhaps one day those who have previously completed the migration just head off, and the rest follow in an earnest effort to remain with the group.

What’s fascinating is that we just don’t know.  


Today, with all the fantastic technology we have, we still cannot explain why birds, butterflies, whales and all manner of beasts, at certain periods in their lives are compelled to undertake arduous, often life threatening voyages to destinations that are  incomprehensibly far away.

Whatever the explanation may be, when the call to migrate comes, it never falls upon deaf ears.

Some people will describe it as a building anticipation, an inner restlessness that cannot be ignored, then before you know it, you’ve sold nearly everything you own and you’re standing, slightly stupefied, in front of your over-packed vehicle with the realization that you’re leaving.

It all happens faster than you can logically process, and I suppose that is the beauty of migration – if a bird was able to truly comprehend the risks involved in the migratory process, I mean really sit and dwell on it, you may find that some would choose to stay, and take their chances with winter or food shortages or whatever hardship the migration is intended to avoid. 


Nature is beautiful in this way; it pulls and pushes us all in one direction or another. Without our conscious awareness, we find one day we are not the same, we have grown, changed, have different goals, passions and ambitions.


For some of us, that realization is we must go. We must migrate.

Planning, planning and more Planning!

Moving across the country seems like a great idea in theory, doesn't it? Tossing your fears and inhibitions to the wind, starting out on a bold adventure. After beginning the purge of my extraneous possessions, the subject of actually planning the cross country trek has moved to the forefront of my thoughts.

Wanting to be able to take in at least a couple hours of sights each day, I have allotted myself eight days to travel from my present home, here in Deanlea to my new home in Port Moody, British Columbia . As a result of my unorthodox travel companions, I have opted to sleep in my car every night of the trip.

Before you shake your head and declare my insanity, I implore you to give me the benefit of the doubt. This is not my first long term car journey. In fact, I have driven across country (as the passenger) from Ontario to Sacramento, California, where I lived for some time. When I chose to return back to Ontario. I took a bus, alone. And last year, I drove with my boyfriend down to Mile 0 in the Florida Keys. So with over 16,000km of long distance driving under my belt, I would like to think of myself as a well-seasoned road tripper.

That being said, I have learned that the key to a successful and pleasant road trip with as few mishaps as possible is planning, planning and more planning.

Breaking it down into categories helps immensly and keeps you from overlooking important but tiny details. Because I will be relocating on this journey, and not just visiting per-se, it will require a little extra dilligence on my part. However, I am completely terrified completely convinced it is totally do-able.

The details of how much it will cost, as well as emergency funds have been ironed out and I have progressed to planning the actual route of my trip. A bonus is that I am a member of CAA, which gives me access to maps and travel guides for free. The also offer a service called a TripTik, which allows you to customize a map for you road trip to include whatever stops you'd like to make along the way. You can order one to be printed for free at the CAA office if you're a member. Non-members can visit the caa.ca website and builf their own TripTik to print at home. This tool is super handy and I have used it on more than one occasion. Check it out for yourself, if you'd like.

I have failed to mention that I spent a huge amount of time searching for the right place, and searching for steady employment before I even considered beginning the road trip planning.

After I plan my route, I will share some of the stops I plan to make with you.

Ciao for now...

Comfort - Friend or Enemy

Until recently, I had never really put any thought into the concept of comfort. Certainly, i have grasped it on occasion, when slipping into a new pair of socks, or flipping to the cold side of the pillow on a hot summer night. But that is not the comfort I am referring to.

I have often heard the phrase, 'too much of a good thing can be bad,' and like most of these pearls of wisdoms, it holds true in most circumstances. So, is it true of comfort? Can too much comfort be a bad thing?

Sitting on the couch cross legged, staring at my dog curled up, comfortably, I struggle with this question.

I am almost 27. It doesn't seem that old, but in my self-professed old age, I am beginning to re-evaluate my path in life. The first thing that came to my me, when I began this quest of self discovery, was, why even do it in the first place? I am comfortable. I went to school, got myself a good job, I have a roof over my head, a small dog to keep me company (among other critters) and for all-intensive purposes of this argument, I am pretty healthy. So, why change? What is so bad about comfort?

All through my early twenties, I hungered for this comfort, for stability, and a schedule, to know where my life was heading. Now that I am here, I am less than enthralled.

Part of me feels guilty even writing that. But the fact remains, despite the over abundance of comfort in my life, the security and safety, I still want more.

Comfort in my humble opinion is like a sweet drug that lulls us into complacency. We trade one dream or another for the warm and fuzzy embrace of our old friend comfort. All the while, we tell ourselves that it is for the best, because this was our ultimate goal wasn't it? Comfort?

Under closer observation, comfort doesn't seem like such a wonderful thing. It starts to look like a habit, and addiction even a disease or perhaps to be less harsh, a mild infection.

I am suffering from a serious case of comfort.

Case in point...exhibit A 

Liz - Early 20s